Getting Diagnosed With Bipolar Fucked With My Mindset


I recently got diagnosed with being bipolar about a month ago. I don't really claim it though , regardless of the meds I have to take to deal with my mood disorder and stress levels. For as long as I can remember I've always been super high or super low, suffering with mood swings since a child. I've learned to channel those mood swings into my craft by being transparent and by writing and fueling it with my artistic creative powers. There are more than 3 million people who suffer with being bipolar in the world. Some learn how to deal with it and others have a hard time facing it.

Bipolar disorder is a chronic mental illness that causes extreme changes in mood. Moods alternate between happy, energetic highs (mania) and sad, weary lows (depression). These mood swings may occur several times each week or just a couple of times a year.

Sometimes I experience these moods several times each week, depending on my temperament.

Once I got diagnosed with being bipolar I went through a period of high depression. Questioning why did God put this on me and that I'm a good person. I want to do the right things and just spread love in the world using my art, fueling the world with my passion, and being nothing but myself. I suffered with the whys and how comes. As I do in life most of the time, but I'm realizing nothing is about me. It's always to help someone else in this journey of life.

It hurt that my mom even wanted the psychiatrist to prescribe me more medicine (she was just being concerned). I hated that because it made me feel like something was wrong with me and as if I was really out of touch with reality. But was I really, or was I just trying to figure myself out and what drives my genetic creativity to live and feel free. Getting diagnosed with being bipolar mood disorder fucked my mind up until I began to accept it and did more research on all the great writers, poets, activists, musicians, comedians, and actresses who suffer/ed with bipolar.

If you're a creative person who uses the right side of your brain, you just may be bipolar. I'm no doctor but you may go through extreme highs and extreme lows just like me because you're always thinking. With being bipolar my brain never stops working, it races constantly and I've learned that I can think anything into my life and it will happen. I look at it as power from God. But it sucks when I think negative thoughts and seep into depression, because I give those same thoughts power. I've learned to rely on my positive thoughts and faith that God has more for me and wants more for me.

A list of people who dealt/deal with being bipolar include model Helena Belmonte, Chris Brown, Russel Brand, Journalist Jayson Blair, Nina Simone, Carrie Fisher, Mel Gibson. Ernest Hemmingway,Jesse Jackson, Jr. Demi Lovato, Marilyn Monroe. Lee Thompson Young, Amy Winehouse, Catherine Zeta-Jones and one of the greatest of all time Vincent van Gogh. Yes thee Vincent van Gogh was bipolar.

Those who are bipolar have a strong desire to use their creative powers to change the world. They are thee artistic people in life.

What I've also learned about most of these artists is that many of them have committed suicide from falling into deep depression. Just recently Ricki Lake opened up about her husband , jewelry designer Christian Evans completing suicide on Feb.11. “I have to spread the word about recognizing this disorder and getting treatment as soon as possible,” Lake told PEOPLE Magazine. “Christian didn’t want to be labeled as bipolar, but he admitted he was in the note he left. That was him finally owning it. That was him giving me permission to tell his story.”

Those who are diagnosed with bipolar hate being labeled as it makes us feel as though something is genuinely wrong with us and shatters our self esteem. We know we can be super up and yet feel super down. Unfortunately the only thing that helps us with our moods is medicine in order for us to not feel depressed to the point of being suicidal.

I used to think being bipolar had to do with anger issues, we only suffer from anger issues when it comes to our temperament(how we react to our environment). Other than that we get angry in life just like how normal people get angry. And then the question really holds, are any of us normal. Or have we all been conditioned and programmed how this society wants us to be. I think that's why the great painters, actors, and writers succeeded during the time of the Renaissance. They were free to think , free to use their creativity to express life around them.

I don't look at me as being bipolar as a downfall. I know it will take my creative powers to make me happy in this road to success. If I don't have it, I feel that I will have nothing and that is the battle I am currently going through .

'The Link Between Bipolar Disorder and Creativity by Jane Collingwood suggests that 'There may be a scientific explanation as to why many creative people have bipolar disorder. Several recent studies have showed that people who are genetically predisposed to bipolar disorder are more likely than others to show high levels of creativity, particularly in artistic fields where strong verbal skills are helpful."

"In one study, researchers took the IQ of almost 2,000 8-year-old children, and then assessed them at ages 22 or 23 for manic traits. They found that high childhood IQ was linked with bipolar symptoms later in life. For this reason, the researchers believe the genetic features associated with bipolar disorder can be helpful in the sense that they also may produce beneficial traits."

In the early stages of a manic episode, people can be very happy, productive and creative all at the same time. They tend to have less need for sleep and don’t feel tired. Those who are dealing with bipolar disorder always have to be aware and understand the temperament in which they are in. High levels of stress can trigger a bipolar episode and create emotional outbursts.

If you are bipolar like me, we can get through this together. Instead of becoming depressed about your condition find your inner light, use your powers to help gain control and shifting it into what drives our passion, but most importantly take your medicine. Sometimes we need it to keep us focused on one thing at a time, as our minds are racing to the next thing always.


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